he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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