Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize