He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
