Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
