Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
