Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
