Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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