I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
