I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
