margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
