Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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