The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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