exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I'm getting married
To pizza
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
