Dual....:-)
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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