I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Is it because I queefed?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
i believe in u and ur pee
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
