Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
