is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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