think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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