If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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