So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
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