I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
