After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
