I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize