why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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