Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
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