thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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