and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
