Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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