I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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