Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
