Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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