We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
