I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
