"it" just moved
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
