I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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