Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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