How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
