A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
