so explain again why im purple
no
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
