i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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