Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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