there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
