names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
