That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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