I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
