dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
