you turned your livingroom into a bong?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
