ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
