Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
