you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
