idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I think my moral compass just broke
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
