the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
