420 ftw
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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