your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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