I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He better not be in your backpack
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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