should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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