her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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