I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
