No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize