"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
